I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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