So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
