I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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