At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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