Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
