Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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