dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
