i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can I color on your dick again?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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