I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
