im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize
