Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
