U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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