I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
