Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
