If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had sex on a roof
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
