I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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