dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
