We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
