Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
