And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
