; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
