Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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