I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
