he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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