four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
