Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
