Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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