i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
