I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
