Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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