we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
