I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
