No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
