i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
