you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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