my mouth tastes like poor choices
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
