She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We left the knife in your bed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
