Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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