its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
