You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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