shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
