An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
