is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
