The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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