I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
