I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
