You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
