Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
