my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
