You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
